infinite
our love is
Romans 8:18
Trust in Him, and all good things will follow

i’m so tired of this. tbh, i’m surprised i haven’t even given up yet. i don’t understand why i’m still staying when i don’t even feel great anymore. i can’t do this anymore. and you know what’s worst? i’ve never felt so alone. i don’t have anyone to go to at all. ugh

2 weeks ago · 0 notes

i know you always used to ask me this, and i never really answered

but here’s my answer now: yes, i do. i do miss you. everyday actually. i think about how you’re doing, what you’re doing. and if you’re missing me. i wonder to myself if you think about me too. i miss everything we used to be, everything we used to do. wish we could go back to how we were.

2 weeks ago · 0 notes

bakit kaya ganon noh? yung taong gusto mo magbigay ng attention sayo.. di sayo binibigay. alam mo namimiss nanaman kita. kasi, ikaw yung tao na nagbibigay sakin ng attention and you make me feel special. ayan nanaman tuloy ako. binabasa ko lahat ng messages mo sakin. miss na miss na kita. miss na kita kausap, makasama. miss ko na yung name mo magppop up sa screen ko dahil may message ka. miss ko na yung amoy mo. miss na miss na kita.i miss everything about you. pero ikaw, completely fine ka na. you’re happy. and i’m not. it shouldn’t even be like this. i shouldn’t even be looking for you. you shouldn’t even be affecting me anymore. nakakainis. nakakabaliw. ito nanaman ako.

2 weeks ago · 0 notes

Pizza + wings + cuddle session

After having “the talk”, where it felt like we were about to break up, we finally saw each other again. It’s so different whenever we see each other - it’s so calm, and there’s no arguments. Today was fun because you bought me pizza+ wings 😌😌 hehehe. I was craving and i’m on my period, so you knew how to make me happy 😊😊😊 hopenit’ll always be like this - happiness and full of laughter :) thanks for being patient with me ❤ ill really try my very best to be sweet to you now 😊😊😊😊 mwah

2 months ago · 0 notes

2 yrs

Happy 2nd anniversary baby 💜 Ahhh two years - that’s insane isn’t it? To be honest, I didn’t think we’d last this long - i had (and sometimes) still have so much doubts about us. There were so many people against us but here we are - still going strong. Last year has been interesting, especially for the last couple of weeks. All we kept doing was arguing; we even go to a point where we talked about breakups. But i realized one thing about us - we’re both fighters. We fight for what we love, we fight for each other. We never give up and i love that about us. Not only have i become stronger, but as a couple, we’ve become stronger through each obstacle that we face. Thank you for the past 2 yrs. i really pray that it only gets better - that we’ll both be better as individuals and together. May we end up putting God in between our relationship to keep us stronger. I love you and i’ll always care for you.

2 months ago · 0 notes

For the last couple of months, my mind has been going insane. There’s so much questions going through my head, there’s so much feelings i am feeling that i shouldn’t. Am i staying because i’m still in love? Or am i staying because naaawa na lang ako?

Di ko maintidihan. Ang labo na. You’re so boring - wala ako magawa pag kasama kita. You are so different from him. Di ko maintidhan ang lahat…. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko.

I’m surprised i’m not mad that you didn’t get me a present for our anniv - i guess it’s because i expected it. You’re that type anyway.

Nakakasawa na to. I want to be loved and appreciated. Di na talaga ako masaya but i don’t have the courage to say so.

2 months ago · 0 notes

exactly this
time for a change

As of today, I want everything to change - for the better. During the last year, I have been at my worst state. I have all these negative feelings such as anger, pain, disappointments, feelings of unworthiness, etc. in my heart. I don’t know since when it all started but I do not want to live like this. I don’t want the chains to hold on to me. I want to break from all of this. Lord, I know that I became distant from you. But i no longer want that. I want a change - a change where I would be a better version of myself. I want to seek God and let everyone around me see His goodness in me. I want His goodness to be manifested and that through that, people’s lives will be changed. I want to be a happy girl again - i don;t want to feel angry anymore. I ask God to take all these negative emotions in me, and to give me clean and pure heart. I want a transformation and I will work for it in order to reach my peace. Thank You, Lord. I give you praise and glory and may I reach a state of peace soon.

3 months ago · 2 notes

They say that opposites attract, but do they really? It’s almost been 2 years since I’ve said yes to my boyfriend and I’ve realized so many things. We’re so different from how we both used to be. Di lang yun, we always fight - and i won’t lie, it’s usually almost always my fault. Lagi kasi ako sa kanya nagtatampo… Lagi ako sa kanya naiinis. I don’t know why pero naiinis ako sa ugali niya or even the way he is - kahit maliit na bagay naiinis ako. Minsan nga nakakaawa na because he doesn’t deserve that pero naiinis kasi talaga ako. I’m trying to recall how i fell in love with him.., and why i did. But i’m still trying to understand why. Hayz i wish things can get better na lang….. I just wish i dont get as mad… And i really just pray that his personality gets better pero parang walang hope.., thats how he was brought up and raised. Mahirap baguhin ang nakasanayan pero di naman impossible. I’m ending this w/ a positive note…. Na i am hoping and i believe that my boyfriend will change for the better.

3 months ago · 0 notes

24th

Today was a very eventful day. I am proud to say that I am finally done my first year of University 🎉 So glad that I finished with exams and that I do not have to worry about school for a while. Thank You so much Lord for the strength, knowledge and wisdom You’ve supplied me for the whole first year ☺

Another thing I am also very happy about is that I got to spend time with my bb. I know I tried to “move on” but I really can’t. He’s been bugging me lately - I can’t seem to get him off my mind at all 😥 Anyway, it started off very weird. Kinakapa pa namin where we stand - if it’s okay to make jokes or if we should talk. I talked - and made conversation. How could I not when I know I want to talk to him and spend time with him? Plus, I get it’s my turn to actually talk to him and make effort. I asked him if he’s going home and he said he is. Honestly, i was a bit sad knowing he is. I dont want him to - even if I barely see him. I don’t want him to b/c if he goes home I know what that could mean. But at the same time, who am I to hold him back from his happiness? Anyway I don’t want to get carried away. So we talked, made jokes and teased each other. It started to feel comfortable - comfortable enough to really sit close to each other. Then suddenly, biglang tumigil yung subway. B/c there was something wrong. So we had to get off. During this time, i got really worried. We both had exams. Syempre, yung lalaki na yun sobrang chill lang - lagi naman siya chill e. i can’t lie, i’m disappointed in myself with what I did while we were waiting but at the same time, i know that if i had the chance.. Id prolly do it again. On the way to the platform, i was pulling his arm because he was walking so slow. Tapos, biglang nagiba.. Biglang siya yung nauna tapos I was holding onto his arm.. Then pataas ng stairs magkahawak na kami ng kamay. I don’t know how nangyari yun really but I just found us holding hands and it felt very comfortable. Our hands remained like that kahit na we were already upstairs.. And then i took of my hands and started to panic :( I would lean sa back niya and he would just hold my hands… Tapos sometimes id hold on to his arm. Parang kami kahit hindi naman talaga kami………. Hanggang sa naging okay na yung subway tapos we went back. Then when we were sa subway, sobrang comfortable na namin. Nakadikit na ulit siya sakin ng super close.. Tapos i learned sa shoulder niya to rest tapos medjo magkahawak ulit yung kamay namin……. I dont know why but it just felt comfortable the way we were. AND I KNOW ALL OF THIS IS WRONG BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO AVOID AND STOP MYSELF FROM DOING IT. 😭😭😭

4 months ago · 0 notes

What could today imply? Was it a closure or was it a reminder than things never changed? I won’t lie though, if I could repeat today.. I would repeat it over and over and over again. Maybe I’m the only one who felt it, but the comfortable-ness was still there. It’s always a good time with you and I don’t think that’ll ever change. Sorry if I came as if I was so excited to see and be with you again - I really am though because I haven’t been with you in so long.

i know all good things come to an end, but I don’t want an end to whatever we have. We may not talk often or may not spend time often, but I always look forward to moments with you. I always look forward to being with you again. :(

4 months ago · 0 notes